Sunday, March 20, 2011

Can I sue Mother Nature for false advertising?

Today is supposed to be the first day of spring. Ha.

When I think of spring, I think of:

Leaves on trees
the Easter bunny
and all of that good stuff.

What we have:
Flowers at the store
Bare trees
Frost in the mornings
Cadbury eggs.

It's about this time of year, after months of rain and brr (ok, not as brr as you in the Midwest, but you get the point), that I start to seriously question 1) my sanity and 2) why the hell I live here in the Pacific Northwest.

At least Mr. RK has more stories to make me laugh.

Last week at work, this really annoying, self-righteous woman started complaining about how her husband didn't like it when she went out to clubs and danced with/hung out with other guys.

Trying to drum up support for being a slut, I suppose, she asked Mr. RK, "Well, you got to clubs, right?"

Mr. RK: "No, not really."
Her: "And you drink, right?"
Mr. RK: "No, not really."
Her: "Well, have you ever?"
Mr. RK: "I quit all of that when I left the porn industry."

Silence...did I mention that this person is also really gullible?

And then she didn't talk to him for the rest of the day.


G said...

It's times like these where I truly wish that I didn't work for the guv'mnt.

Mr R.K. has some truly unique comebacks that would get him into seriously hot water with the PC mafia that is the guv'mnt.

Porn industry indeed.

Perhaps as a casting director?

Senorita said...

Wow, that's the best line ever !

Holland said...

Mr RK is really unique....LOL

Please do not complain about Cadbury chocolate... they taste a lot better than Easter Bunny eehhmm... well his eggs...(don't ask how I know... just take my word for it...)lol

ileana said...

Ha! I'm guessing he told her this with a straight face...which makes it just perfect! I used to work in a place with that kind of humor...loved it!

Riot Kitty said...

G: Yeah, I can't see him lasting long in a PC job.
S: He said he had been saving it up...
H: How *do* you know?!
I: Yep, he did...

LL Cool Joe said...

Great one-liner!

The weather is fairly spring like here. Sorry. :D

Granny Annie said...

You should compile a book of Mr.RKs one liners.

Aliceson said...

It wasn't very spring-like here yesterday either. In fact, we had every kind of precipitation there is packed into one day plus wind and lots of clouds. Boo! So instead of enjoying the spring weather outside, I holed up in the basement and gardened down there most of the day, starting seeds and enjoying the faux sunshine. :)

Lynn said...

Hopefully you'll be sliding into some spring-like weather soon. Love those Cadbury eggs! I am having a hard time resisting them - they are always around the cash registers.

Mr. RK cracks me up. :)

John McElveen said...

Haaa Haaaaaaaaaaa!

I LOVE Mr RK! OK--OK--NOT in that way!

So you didn't like my frozen pre-dead Squirrel I use for all my dead Squirrel pics?


(Is she buying it???)

Mike_D said...

Awesome. Best line ever...

Cake Betch said...

Ug, I'm feeling the mother nature hate-a-thon coming on. It's been warming up here in Ohio but I heard on the radio it's supposed to be back in the 30's and rainy all week. FAIL.

Mama Zen said...

What a great line! I'm going to have to use that somehow at my next PTA gathering.

Darth Weasel said...

wait...he left? when? I wondered why he wasn't showing up for work.

Riot Kitty said...

LOL everyone!

Anil P said...

Wonder if she was still left standing after that heavyweight comeback :-)