Friday, August 27, 2010

Up to what?


I spent a good portion of time this morning arguing with the internet people, attempting to cancel our upgrade order because we got totally fucked with our pants on.

Read: if you order a certain mbps speed, you are not guaranteed anything near that speed, although you will be charged for it.

The fine print = your speed will be up to 7 mbps.

From zilch, zero.

In fact, although I had signed up for a certain speed, I was actually getting less than half of that speed. When I went back to the regular speed, I literally only got 0.1 mbps less.

If they can get away with this concept, I have decided, so should the rest of us.

We could work up to so many hours a week, when employed full-time.

We could promise up to so many sexcapades to our partners.

Our cats could give us up to so many cuddles. (Although I think I will be getting more, thanks to my spiffy new blanket from K!)

We could pay up to the listed prices of movies, dinners out, clothing, shoes, etc.

What do you think?

18 comments:

Mama Zen said...

I'm in!

Fireblossom said...

The cats are awesome!

That's like ads that say "Taking Placebotol may help you lose up to 500 pounds in two hours..." (or it MAY get up and sing Yankee Doodle and paint your apartment, but probably not!)

Senorita said...

"We totally got fucked with our pants on"

Priceless ! I am gonna have to use that more often.

I remember when I bought internet service and it didn't work in my apt. I had to sit outside for it to even work.

It's recockulous what companies get away with due to fine print.

Riot Kitty said...

MZ: Fantastic! Let me know what you come up with.
FB: Bwahahaha!
S: I used that phrase when I bought my car. I looked right at the sales guy and said, "Why do I feel like I'm getting fucked with my pants on?" And I said it IN FRONT OF MY DAD, but he was cool with it because I got a much better deal on the car...

Scarlet Ily said...

...and you can also get a "free" blue topaz ring on a cruise ship by attending their gemstone talk!

LOL @ FB's comment and what you said to the salesguy. You have cojones, Chica! :)

Boonie S said...

What do I think?
I think, “Up to you”.

All the best from Boonie

G said...

Can I use up to my full brain capacity to insult and ridicule people?

Does just a smidgen of G go further than a smatter of G?

If I use just a smidgen, does that entitle me to go to a smatter for future considerations and a couple of draft picks?

Granny Annie said...

Dear Technical sales and support of computer internet cell phone and cable items: How do I believe thee? Let me count the ways ... ZERO!

Wild Child said...

Yup! I'm all for the "up to" promise. Good enough for greedy capitalist bastards, good enough for me!

Riot Kitty said...

Ily: It was pretty easy actually ;)
B: Good one.
G: Let's find out!
GA: Exactly.
WC: Amen, sister!

LL Cool Joe said...

Wild Chid's comment cracked me up. :D

Nice rant. Of course being totally fucked with your pants on, can be fun.

Lynn said...

If you ever win an debate with the phone/internet/cable providers let me know. :) I just had to pay $125 to have my bedroom rewired for cable because the technician couldn't find the signal.

Claire said...

Oh man. Why do companies do this? Insanity.

Cxx

Riot Kitty said...

L: I actually have won a few, but not without expending great amounts of energy.
Claire: Greed?

Indie.Tea said...

I would love for the cats to give up to so many cuddles personally :)
'Cause if yours are like mine, they only cuddle when they want something. But yours are adorable!

JLee said...

Somehow I don't think that will fly ;)

Darth Weasel said...

exactly. Much like the old "we have delivered over 43...

Okay, "over 40" makes sense because it could be 41...46...48...etc. But why not just say 44?

Riot Kitty said...

IT: Thanks!
JL: Sad to say...
Darth: Hahaha!