Unless something blows up between now and Monday, I will start a new job that looks to be that elusive of all jobs: 1) fun and 2) working for a nice person.
That said, with few exceptions (including the interview with my boss-to-be), I have *hated* interviewing these past months.
Mostly because of the dumbfucks who ask such dumb fucking questions! It's almost predictable after a couple of interviews - you learn to anticipate the same worthless questions for which there are really no good (or honest) answers.
"What would your former bosses say about you?" How to answer without sounding 1) full of myself, if I believe I have done well for former employers, or 2) like a shithead by saying I don't know? How about, "They all say I gave great head, but I suppose you'd have to decide for yourself."
"What would they say are your strengths, or what would they say you need to improve?"
Hmm. Aside from snorting cocaine on my breaks and swearing at clients and setting the office on fire, what's not to love?
"Have you ever had a conflict with a co-worker?" Well, who hasn't? Haven't we all worked with at least one asshole? But there isn't a good way to answer this, either. If you say no, they'll know you're lying. If you say yes, they ask why, which leads into my next question:
"If so, how did you handle it?" I kneed him in the balls. I signed him up for the nastiest foot-fetish porn I could find. Seriously, by looking for another job. That's why I'm sitting here in a monkey suit with you, tootsie.
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" Away from idiots like you.
"How long do you plan to stay if we hire you?" This is probably the most ridiculous one yet. That depends on a number of unknowns: how well you pay me, if the boss is an asshole, if the boss tries to grab my ass, if the boss is a sexist shithead...you get the point.
"Is there anything that would conflict with your ability to do this job?" Only if more than one of the above happened. But sometimes this is code for, "Do you mind being worked to death?" Yes, I do, until I take that new job as a porn star.