Friday, July 15, 2016

Celebrity fuck your way to wellness!

As I've mentioned here I have been in therapy recently. One of the things my therapist recommended was a workbook with some mindfulness skills.

Even though that was the section I was supposed to read, having OCD, I like to finish things (like books) from start to finish. So I started reading from the beginning of the workbook. Topics included "pleasurable distractions" when moods crash.

Among these suggestions, and I kid you not...

"Imagine the top 10 celebrities you want to have sex with. Write detailed encounters."

Um. Really? As a guy friend told me, "Writing about a fantasy with a celebrity who doesn't know I exist would make me even more depressed!"

At this point in the book, I wondered aloud, "I wonder if all of the authors are male?" (Yep.) I suppose they could rebrand this book, or at least this section, with "how to use your shitty moods to inspire your hidden talent for writing erotica."

Now, mind you, the book was worth $11.99 just for the amount of laughter it has generated for me and for friends!

Another "pleasurable distraction" was to "have sex with someone you are interested in and care about."

Yeah, if I was that person, that motivation would make me feel good. "Hey, RK! I was reading this psychological workbook and it told me to go have sex with you as a distraction." Goody.

Or, better, "And I'm choosing you, RK, because the book said to pick you, because I care about you and am interested in you. As opposed to the hot blonde down the street that I'm just screwing for fun." 

How do you distract yourself when you're in a bad mood?


24 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Fortunately my memory is shot. It is difficult to stay down when I can't quite remember why.
I wonder what that book would have looked like if it was written by women. I suspect chocolate might have been involved. Which the men would have then smeared onto the sexual partner that they are interested in and care about...

LL Cool Joe said...

Where the hell did you get the book from? Anne Summers?

I keep busy, I find something to do until the mood lifts. Preferably away from everyone else.

G. B. Miller said...

Wow, that's pretty cool: a therapist who moonlights as a sex therapist. Double dipping at its very best.

Usually once I get into a crappy/shitty/bad mood it takes me quite a while to work my way out of it (about a week or so). Usually by doing other things as well as calmly and irrationally thinking about the consequences if said mood was acted upon.

I Are Writer!

wigsf3 said...

I eat, or do something else with physical exurtion.

Charles Gramlich said...

Play video games, mostly. At least while I'm playing I'm not thinking about sad things.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I watch funny TV shows, movies, YouTube videos, whatever! I rewatch tried and true things that I know will make me laugh my ass off. That's why I can quote every bit of dialogue in every Monty Python bit ever filmed, LOL!

Wishing you all the best, Riot Kitty!

lotta joy said...

When I'm really pissed off: and that's 23 hours out of 24 - I cook. I bake. I make things from scratch. I also carry a concealed weapon and avoid religious people.

Lynn said...

I'm glad the therapy is providing some lightheartedness!

I pretty much just stew over it when I'm in a bad mood and hope it eventually passes. :)

Birdie said...

I nap.

HBF said...

I like to read, play stupid games on my phone, go for a walk and count colors (try to find 3 purple things, 3 red things, 3 blue things etc.), and other things I'm sure but just can't think of at the moment...

Mike_D said...


Well, that would certainly be a distraction!

Abby said...

Oh great, now I'm thinking of a few celebrities...

Actually, that's pretty hilarious advice. Sex! The cure-all! As for me, I like something different - like go for a bike ride to someplace new, or watch a movie I've never heard of.

Betty Manousos said...

hmmm, who wants to have sex with a celebrity in the first place? hah!

i've found that napping always work with me. it helps me to reset so to speak and forget..

big hugs!

Granny Annie said...

Sex? What is that?

A Beer For The Shower said...

And here all this time I used working out and writing humor as therapy. I guess I'm just going to violate Scarlett Johansson in my mind and write down what I see! I see... charges being pressed.

Abby said...

That title tho... :D

CraveCute said...

Well that's some book! I love your blog title...hahaha! What do I do? Food, music, read blogs...sometimes all at the same time.

Jono said...

Music will do it eventually and physical exertion. I vaguely remember sex and would love to try it again. I may have actually gotten my virginity back it's been so long.

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! said...

Hey Riot Kitty,

No, actually, imagine all the alleged celebrities who want to get it on with you.

If I'm in a bad mood, heaven forbid, I give my human dad an extra dose of my doggy breath. The look of horror on his face brightens my mood.

Pawsitive wishes,

Penny!

Mike_D said...

...But the book says! You have to have sex with me! The book say-ys!

Please!

Claire said...

Oh my goodness, that book is a treasure trove of blogspiration!

Ileana said...

Great pickup line..."a book suggested we have sex..." Sounds legit. lol

I get busy (and by busy I don't mean have sex) when I'm down...push myself to exercise, clean, etc...or I treat myself to art supplies and work on something new with the Thievery Corporation Radio on Pandora.

Lee said...

The writer/s of that book are proving that experts are, in fact, drips under pressure!!

Senorita said...

I am probably in the minority, but when my depression was the worst, mindfulness exercises rarely helped, because I was most miserable being present. Although in this case, this recockulous book would have given me a laugh and brightened my mood!