Tuesday, August 19, 2014


In previous posts, we developed the response, "Are you a grownup?" for un-grownup behavior. (Yes, I just made up a word.) In this post, we create shortcuts.

Who doesn't like a shortcut? Shortcuts save time, which we never seem to have enough of.

Case in point: I am crawling through my drive home. The truck two cars ahead of me is plastered in hateful stickers, and then one that from a distance looks like this:
Which puzzled the hell out of me. Up close, however, it actually looked like this:
Shortcut: Get one bumper sticker that says "I AM AN ASSHOLE." That'll save space, and get your point across much faster.

Case in point #2: The woman who has three kids receiving state insurance, and only gets a renewal letter for one of them. Instead of calling and inquiring about the other two, she calls us and makes an appointment to discuss it. Then she is a no call, no show. A week later she calls again.

Shortcut: Fess up that you are a crappy parent who probably shouldn't have reproduced in the first place! I may be progressive, but I'm not an idiot. I believe in personal responsibility.

Case in point #3: The car repair place calls, trying to reach my boss, who is on vacation, at least a week after his vehicle has been in for transmission repair. They tell us to please let him know that they forgot to replace a gasket, so things could, uh, leak.

Shortcut: Call and say (MUCH EARLIER), "We fucked up! Get your car the fuck over here or there will be big trouble!"

Because come on, people. You don't need to waste my time.


Elephant's Child said...

I do like those shortcuts.
There also needs one that says I am a grumpy piece of work and I used my last shred of patience this morning (or perhaps it was yesterday).

Linda said...

Oh, wow! Looks like the boss gets a new transmission!

I like those shortcuts.

Lynn said...

I guess it's good that they at least called about the car - so strange that they left that out and realized it later. :)

G. B. Miller said...

Yuppers....dealing with stupid is a 24/7/365 job that has no rewards beyond making a pharmaceutical company rich.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You're mining a rich vein here -- The Stupid Vein!

Granny Annie said...

Don't you especially love the long excuses for why people could not help you after the fact as if that will help and so who cares? Why not just "Thank you for what YOU do."

Thank you Riot Kitty for all that you do.

lotta joy said...

YEP. I hate to see a fairly new car that will never be paid for, covered in stickers that someone else will have to remove.

The dealership 600 miles away put in a refurbished gas pump with a broken sensor that didn't work the fuel gauge.

Joe JUST THIS MINUTE called (he drove back the 600 miles to these shysters) They replaced the pump.

Our LOCAL dealership would have done it for free IF IF IF they had decided there wasn't "another" problem we'd have to pay for.

We couldn't take that chance.

Whatever happened to having a favorite mechanic you could trust? The jacks must have scooted out while all of them were under the car.

Furry Bottoms said...

I've seen those coexist stickers (the blue one you mentioned) on the back of a car that also has stickers promoting wicca and pot. In other words, WEIRD-MOBILE.

Dexter Klemperer said...

I have to give the transmission company a lot of credit; I've never heard of anyone calling back to admit a mistake. Well, assuming they make it right!

Lee said...

The whole world is fucked!

agg79 said...

Some people should be labeled with a a sign that says "Stupid". Save on all of the guesswork for the rest of us.

I do find it interesting that the transmission place took a week to figure out that they forgot to reinstall the gasket (Ooops, my bad).

DWei said...

Stealing your sticker idea. I'm going to find a way to mass produce "I'm an asshole" bumper stickers and pay off my student debt with it.

Charles Gramlich said...

I hear you on the car repair thing. If it weren't for having to do other folk's work I could probably get my own done.

Ginny said...

People like this make me feel very smart. I guess that's the only positive thing I can say about stupid stuff like this.

Vanessa Morgan said...

I can already imagine cars with those stickers. Do you think there will be a lot of them? :-)

Claire said...

I can't even believe that sticker. What a turd!