Thursday, October 26, 2006

And just when you thought it couldn't get dumber...

The dumbest audience yet...I have found them! Well, I have found ad copy *targeting* them. They must be out there, because I saw the following printed on a plastic bag:

"Do not use in playpens, cribs, or strollers."

Excuse me? That's even better than packages of peanuts that say "warning: contains nuts." (If I bought a package of nuts, I sure as hell hope so.) But back to the bag message. Are there really parents that come home clutching said plastic bags and say, "Honey! Great news! I found a cheap way to amuse the baby!", or, "Hey, let's use this plastic bag for Junior, instead of a blanket!" I guess there must be. Or maybe there's a fear of lawsuits? No matter how dumb the person is, they're apparently coherent enough to finding an attorney. Isn't that amazing?

My other new favorite is a sign at Fred Meyer (for those of you outside of the Northwest, it's a grocery/clothing/drug/electronics/every fucking thing you could think buying of store), near the boxes of pumpkins outside:

"Do not roll: Pumpkins Can Be Heavy and Cause Injuries."

I do not want to know what or who inspired that sign. But given the God-awful driving in this state, I'm sure it's someone local.


kirsten said...

well, SHEE-yat, billy bob - i bought this punkin over at bi-mart 'tother day, din't weigh NUTHIN!
'course, WAS made a'foam rubber, but punkins is punkins, right?

Darth Weasel said...

The recent patch of Pumpkin related injuries is nothing compared to the rash of Rutabaga injuries back in the fall of 99. Why, you couldn't even cross the street without stumbling across someone with an eye poked out or a finger missing from a rabbit feeding incident.