Sunday, November 24, 2013

Smart humanity, where art thou?

Don't ask me why, but Mr. RK was randomly looking at "missed connections" on Craigslist. He said he was looking for "random strangeness. And Craigslist is the best place ever for random strangeness."

He found some that I have to wonder about - namely, is this because 1) it's Craiglist, 2) it's the internet, or 3) we're near Portlandia?

You tell me. Once again, I could not make this stuff up. Once again, I kiss my fucking toes that I am not out in the dating world.
Several from the concert we went to Monday:
I caught you staring at my (language not safe for even this blog.) I was giving you the eye as well. You were tall with tattoos and a black hoodie. I was with my husband, but we have an arrangement. . . Wish I could have stopped to say hello. . . 

But she didn't because...she had to go get some popcorn? And...WAT? What kind of arrangement is this? Not flowers, surely.

Hey I was behind you most of the night and took off right away after the show. You had green hair was kinda hoping to meet up. 

You were kind of hoping to meet up, so you left? "Had" green hair? Has it become purple since then? Is she a Fraggle?

Hi. You came up to me before the NIN concert and ask about the phone charger I had. We chatted for a few before you went on your way. Seemed like there might be some attraction. Drop me a note if you see this and want to chat some more..

Geek4Geek?

And at another show, and the local barber shop:

You saved me from being crushed in the front row, and got me a guitar pick. It ment so much to me. I wish I got your number, I could always use another good person in my life. Plus you where pretty hot too. 

hey i came in today with a friend he was older an had his hair cut to but u took like 3 times as long on mine then anyone els u did i wanted to give u my number but didant really see a chance hope u see this 

Maybe they can meet up and play Scrabble. Oh, snap. That won't work.

If you are horny straight or bi and 20-35 and want an awesome blowjob by a clean ddf older guy reply with description and picture and let me know you are drug and disease free. 


Because nothing says "safe sex" like "I found this ad on the internet..."

23 comments:

lgsquirrel said...

Dear Riot Kitty, my mother warned me about kitties. She said they may look cute and fluffy but they have sharp claws. Still I have been following you for awhile (on your blog). I am the one with the greying hair. I am also into nuts! Plus I love a girl with a machine gun as long as it ain't pointed at me.

Elephant's Child said...

Oh dear is about all I can say with any politeness.
Literacy is obviously an optional extra.

LL Cool Joe said...

So you are saying that Mr RK spends his spare time looking this shit up? :D

Lynn said...

What does ddf mean? Or should I ask? :)

Granny Annie said...

The question of the week on my blog today is "What are you afraid of?". Now I have to go change my own answer because these people are now what I am afraid of. Yikes!!!!

Rock Chef said...

It is a scarey world out there...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm trying to figure out what "ddf" might mean. It's a new acronym to me.

Charles Gramlich said...

eek and a little bit of ewwww.

wigsf3 said...

What does DDF mean?
Delicious doughnut finder?
Dirty dog effer?
Diamond Dallas fage?

Off to google I go...

wigsf3 said...

Drug n disease free!

I don't believe it!

A Beer For The Shower said...

My wife gets such a kick out of reading the casual encounters page. Look at T4M, aka transsexual for male. It's just a bunch of gay dudes dressed up like women trying to attract straight men, and yes, it can be pretty ridiculously funny. But also horrifying.

Mike_D said...

That scrabble line will have me laughing for the next hour...

Lee said...

I must live such a sheltered, boring life...I'm not on any lists; not the Craiglist...not even a hit list!

A prerequisite to be on the list is to be bad at spelling and grammar.

Not bad at spelling Grandma, but bad at grammar.

Birdie said...

When I was in the dating world everyone was always 'disease free'. Ya, right.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

For the first time in a very very long time...I'm glad I'm old!!!
These are incredible! Is this how "dating" goes now?
That last one is actually incredibly funny once you get over gagging....!
I think I lead a very sheltered ON--LINE life....Thank The Lord! LOL!

G. B. Miller said...

Ahhh yes, back when the alternative rags out here were actually good, they would post a half page of this stuff (among other things).

DWei said...

Well I guess you can always use Kijiji instead,

Abby said...

What the heck kinda concerts you going to?

"Maybe they can meet up and play Scrabble. Oh, snap. That won't work." Bahahahahaha!

Riot Kitty said...

I have no idea what DDF means. I'm thinking, "Don't Dare Fuck."

Cheryl said...

RK, you are such a wealth of information. I occasionally get on Craigslist to look for a piece of furniture but I guess, I never took the time to look around for the freaks that congregate there.

I agree, I am counting my lucky stars that I am not in the dating pool. It wouldn't be pretty.

AND while DDF might in fact mean Drug and Disease Free, I would highly recommend the people that hook up on Craigslist take your advice. Don't Dare Fuck.

Betty Manousos said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Betty Manousos said...

hi rk, wishing you a happy and family filled thanksgiving!


now what does ddf mean? scratching her head.

big hugs!
xo

p.s. those lol cats made me smile. thanks!

CraveCute said...

And again, this is why these nut jobs are alone!! Thanks for the chuckle! Have a swell Thanksgiving near Portlandia.